Annie and Florian - Annie’s dream birth

My waters broke while I was at home relaxing at about 9pm, my partner and I headed to the hospital as advised a couple of hours later to make sure everything was looking well, as my surges hadn't yet begun. I was so excited! We listened to happy music and felt quite giddy during the trip to and from the hospital. The staff were very friendly and the checks were non invasive. We were advised to go home and call the labour ward once my surges hit 2 mins apart and lasted at least 30 seconds. I still wasn't experiencing any surges when we went to bed and so we both had a cosy and peaceful rest.

I woke up about 3am with some minor surges that then continued to come randomly throughout the night but they were just like period aches and I was still able to sleep in between. In the morning my partner and I had a lovely cooked breakfast and then went for an early walk - it was so beautiful outside and the town hadn't woken up yet so we got to enjoy the sun shining in the blue sky and the peacefulness of an early Sunday morning. I started timing my surges once I got home as they had started to come more regularly - about 5 minutes apart by this time. Still they felt just like strong period cramps and I was able to bounce on my ball and breathe through them without issues or stress. I felt it was time to start preparing my space for birthing, as we had opted for a home birth with a birthing pool.

Throughout my pregnancy I had been working hard on my mindset around birthing, by taking part in a course with Katie, and working within my own spiritual and grounding practices. Although I had felt anxious about labour in the earlier days, as the time drew nearer to my due date, the fear and nerves weren't there any more and I felt so ready and eager to experience this amazing transition into motherhood, and to meet my child.

I know that my mindset and calm mental attitude towards birthing would influence my experience in a positive way. I felt connected to my power as a woman, connected to my baby, and was ready and willing to fully give myself over to the process, and accept whatever the outcome as fate. If we weren't meant to have the homebirth we had hoped for, then I would be grateful and accepting of the lessons that would be received in the alternate passage.

I smudged my home with sage and cedar, lit candles on my alter space and did some meditative drumming to speak with my spirit guides to ask for their guidance in my birthing journey ahead. I hung fairy lights and drew the blinds, brought all my houseplants into the space and covered the floor with cosy blankets. I felt so calm and excited at the same time, and everything felt perfect.

My partner began filling the birthing pool, and called the labour ward at about 11am when my surges had started to get stronger and were 2 mins apart. I started to use a tens machine, although to be honest I'm not sure how well it worked, perhaps it had a bit of the placebo effect. An hour later the midwife appeared, and she had such a wonderful, gentle energy. I think she immediately understood our birthing plan and I felt really comfortable with her presence. She checked how dilated I was, and told me I was 3cm and that they would check again at about 5pm to see how we were getting on. I was surprised I was only 3cm, as by this time I felt the surges were very powerful and I was using humming breathing and leaning forwards over my ball to feel my way through them.

I put on a playlist I had made that had calming chanting, tribal and meditative healing music on it, and I found this was a really great tool to take my mind away from everything else that was happening, and really ground into my breathing and counting. A few minutes later I felt the urge to get into the pool and be naked. The warm water in the pool felt amazing, and helped me stay firmly planted in my meditative state. The surges were incredibly powerful, and at the height of each wave, breathing was the true guide. I wouldn't describe the feeling as 'pain', but more of a deep, powerful ache. They were strong feelings but they weren't scary or overwhelming. I still felt calm and ultimately connected to my baby. My partner was fanning me the whole time which felt amazing, and feeding me slices of orange and glasses of water. This was all the support I felt I needed as I was truly in my own zone and I felt that everything I needed was already within me.

Time moves strangely during labour. I wasn't aware at all of how much time had passed, but it felt like not long before something changed. I told the midwife that I felt I needed to push and she told me that was really good. I didn't actually have the option not to push because it was completely involuntary and the most powerful, intense primal thing I've ever experienced.  The pushing came with lots of roars and loud noises, which again were completely involuntary. They weren't noises of pain, they were noises of power.

Once the surges gave way to the pushing, the majority of the discomfort was gone, and the feeling now was just of raw power and animal instinct. I could feel the shape of my babys had moving down and see them in my minds eye. Inwardly I felt amazing and all that kept going through my mind was 'this is incredible!!'. I was silently speaking with my baby and urging them down. I felt between my legs and felt the babys head. The feeling of crowning was not painful, but the most intense pressure I can describe. It was so amazing.

The midwives were telling me I was doing a brilliant job and being really supportive. I said to my partner the baby was about to come, and the midwives offered him to catch them but he decided to let the midwife do it, then she held my baby up from the water and my partner announced, 'it's a boy!!' I turned around to face them and was passed my baby boy. There is no way to describe that moment other than pure ecstasy and unfiltered joy and pride. We had skin to skin with baby in the pool and he took to my breast straight away. He was so calm he didn't cry when he was born. After a while I had to get out of the pool to move around to try and get my placenta to naturally come, but after an hour it wasn't coming so I had the injection and then it came soon after. I've kept it to plant in the ground and grow a tree with . I was surprised when I was told I needed stitches for a second degree tear and surface grazing, as I genuinely hadn't felt it happen. The stitches were fine, didn't feel a thing because the anaesthetic worked really well.

After everything was settled and the wonderful midwives (all 3 that came in the end to the birth!) told us what a privelege it had been to be present at our beautiful birth. I've never felt more proud. I feel insanely lucky and grateful to have had the perfect birthing experience. 3cm dilated to baby in arms in 2.5 hours! I would advise anyone moving into a natural and risk free birth to not be afraid. You are about to find your true power, meet your beautiful child, and learn how incredible you really are!

Some of my personal mantras/affirmations that guided me the most were:

Lokha samasta sukhino bhavantu (translates to 'may all beings everywhere know peace and happiness. May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.')

I am capable, I am powerful.

I can, I will.

Everything I need is already within me.

Every surge brings me closer to my baby.

Thank you for the Hypnobirthing course, without it my experience would most definitely have been a different one. It has been worth more than I ever imagined, and it helped me to achieve my dream birth.